What Is Betrayal Trauma?

By Laura K. Garcia

Your world comes crashing down as you discover that the person you trusted the most has betrayed you in the deepest way. You begin to question everything and enter a state of shock. As the days go by, your mind won’t stop racing with questions, doubts, and memories. All you feel is intense anger and sadness. You get triggered often andexperience flashbacks at the most random times. You can’t concentrate and all you can think about is how this person whom you thought loved you, did this very unloving thingthat is hurting you. You are too ashamed to speak with people about how your partner cheated and lied to you. You want to make a choice, but you are stuck between staying and going. You are heartbroken, wondering if things will ever feel normal again.

This is the experience of betrayal trauma. The experience of betrayal is very isolating because of the embarrassment and shame that surrounds it, especially if it is related to the partner having a porn or sex addiction. There is a great amount of confusion because maybe you once thought that the choice to leave after infidelity would be an easy one and soon you find out that it is very challenging.

It’s not “just heartbreak.” It’s trauma — because your sense of safety, stability, and reality has been shaken. Your body and brain are responding like they would to any other trauma.

Why It’s So Hard to Talk About

Betrayal trauma is often hidden in silence. Many women feel ashamed or scared to talk about what’s happening, especially when others say things like:

• “It wasn’t that bad.”

• “Just move on already.”

But the impact runs deep, no matter what the betrayal looked like. You’re allowed to feel devastated. You’re allowed to grieve. And you deserve support.

Healing from betrayal trauma is possible, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. It takes time, safety, and someone who truly understands what you’re going through.

As a therapist, I specialize in helping women walk through the aftermath of betrayal — with compassion, care, and no judgment. Whether your partner cheated, hid porn use, or has a sex addiction, I’m here to help you process the pain, reconnect with yourself, and move toward healing at your own pace.

.You don’t have to hold it all together. If this spoke to your experience, I invite you to reach out. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to talk about where you are and how therapy might help.

You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. And healing is possible.

Contact Me to get started.